Defense Mechanisms

As I have been studying what it looks like for others to walk through healing after abortion, I’ve begun to see common responses to abortion and common effects abortion has on women and men. I’ve learned that in order to protect ourselves from the pain of past traumatic experiences, we use certain defense mechanisms to act as a wall, boundary, or simply a way to avoid the issue. And this isn’t just for abortion, but any kind of past hurt or offense. In any case, understanding how we respond to past hurts can help us to look past the wall we set up and face the reality of the impact the event had on our hearts. If this doesn’t happen, I’m sure it’s difficult to actually walk through healing. We need to get real with what’s going on. It is also easy to see how some of these defense mechanisms could spread and effect our relationships with others and with God.
Here are some examples of common defense mechanisms: Repression (subconsciously forgetting the event), Suppression (choosing to forget or not to think about the event), Rationalizing (justifying our reasons for the choices we made), Total Denial, Minimization (denying the importance of what occurred), having another baby to make up for the one lost, Bargaining, Blaming, Anger, and Avoidance. As I read through these, I had to take a good like at my own life and ask myself how it is that I address past hurts. Do I get angry? Do I justify my sin? Do I avoid responsibility or minimize how much I’ve hurt others? In all of these, we try to deal (or not deal) with our problems independently, and are walking in unreality, looking for some kind of false protection or security. Eventually, they may lead to other hurts, depression, anxiety, anger, heaviness, and poor relationships. In what ways do you deal with hurts and offenses.
I loved reading in Daniel Anderson’s book, “Christ-centered Therapy,” about the difference between an independently managed life and a life lived under the Lordship of Christ and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit. He shows that the fruits of the Spirit mentioned in Galations 5:22-23 are the opposite of what comes from trying to manage our problems in an unhealthy way ourselves, according to the flesh. The fruits of the Spirit are love (the character of God) , joy (the antithesis of depression), peace (the antithesis of anxiety), patience (the antithesis of anger), kindness (instead of blame), goodness (instead of justifying our wrongs), faith (as opposed to hopelessness, unbelief, or fear), self-control (not having to deny or suppress).
So let’s allow God to search our hearts and show us any wicked way in us. Allow him to show us how we deal with our hurts. Any area where we are independently trying to deal or not deal with past hurts, let’s them in the hands of Christ and allow the Holy Spirit to renew our minds and transform our hearts. He is the best Healer, the best Counselor, and He makes all things new. Let’s allow Him to break down the walls we’ve built up in order to protect ourselves. He will heal and restore us.